Let your Hair Down
by ofudamaster
Summary: After waking up from a drunken celebration in Heaven, Kanzeon decides to stir things up a bit. Meanwhile, Gojyo feels bored and goes looking for something new. SanzoxGoku, some JiroshinxKanzeon and some weirder pairings later on.Multiple chapters coming.
1. the Peach Banquet

Hah. Well this is my first Saiyuki fiction.

**Title:** Let your Hair Down  
**Description: **After waking up from a drunken celebration in Heaven, Kanzeon decides to stir things up a bit. Meanwhile, Gojyo feels bored andgoes looking for something new. SanzoxGoku, some JiroshinxKanzeon and some weirder pairings later on.  
**Rated: M. **For language, mostly Gojyo's, indecent exposure on the part of Kanzeon, and mature subject matter.  
**A/N: **I drew a picture of Kanzeon (at my deviantart account if you're interested) and got a good idea for a doujinshi, but I don't have the willpower for another doujinshi right now, so I wrote a fanfiction.  
Kanzeon really doesn't get enough love in the fandom world, because se is really damned cool. One of my favorite characters, and must have a lot of fun in the sack.

Also, I will refer to Kanzeon here with mixed pronouns: Se, Hir, Hirself, Se'd.  
Because I **HATE** it (times a million) when people refer to Kanzeon as "she". I haven't seen anyone refer to hir as "he" but I'd hate that just as much. Kanzeon is a hermaphrodite, se's got everything from both genders. I know it's a little annoying to read but you'll fell better afterwards, trust me.

I've got a long conviluded plot on the way, so enjoy the ride.

* * *

**Let your hair down**

Ch. 1 the Peach Banquet

The first things Kanzeon did that morning were the things se always did. Se squeezed hir eyes shut tight, once, then blinked. Then se rubbed a hand through hir scalp. One thing, though, was different: there was a biting pain in hir spine.

As hir bleary half-closed crusty eyes adjusted to the setting, hir brain following lazily after, last night's events slowly came back. _Why do Gods have to get eye crusts?_ se thought absent-mindedly and raised a long painted fingernail to clear them out.

* * *

Se arrived at the party at nine-thirty, way past 'fashionably late' to a time se dubbed 'I-don't-give-a-shit-so-I'm-waiting-'till-the-booze-are-out late'. Surprisingly, things were a lot rowdier than usual. Several of Heaven's high ranking tightwads were dancing topless on furniture and the rest were behaving like a bunch of drunken giggling 16 year olds. _Well most of them are anyway_, se sighed and made hir way over to Jiroshin. He was standing rigidly by a wall, holding a plastic cup filled with frothy beer.

"Somebody shove that stick up a little further, Jiro?" se yawned casually, plucking the cup out of his fingers and casting an impressed glance over the crowd.

"Pardon, Master Bosatsu?"

"Nothing."

Jiroshin was quiet for a minute, then ventured, "I kept the glass for you."

"I figured."

"I don't know who brought all this strong alcohol but it's been disappearing faster then they can refill."

Kanzeon snorted, "I can see that."

Se shot hir underling a quick, hopeless glance before heading out among the sweat and piss and god-knows-what-else of Heaven's best and brightest.

Across the room se spotted a strikingly handsome young man, probably some low class soldier se'd never seen before. He was dancing wildly and shot a seductive glance at Kanzeon. Se felt a satisfactory stirring in both places between hir legs and pushed hir way over.

* * *

Kanzeon grunted. That was as far as se could remember last night's 'banquet'. Finally se thought to look down at hirself.

A limp dress shirt was flung around hir shoulders. _Not what I was wearing_, se thought. Se'd never be caught in a big shirt like this, after all what was the fun of D-cup tits if you couldn't show them off? No, se'd arrived in a slinky black belly top with a killer bra and tight striped pants; an outfit that showed off _all_ of hir rather impressive endowments.

The killer bra was still mostly there but se noticed a rather uncomfortable tightness around hir manhood and saw that a tight thong was struggling to contain its contents.

_Weird_, se thought for the second time, _I don't even wear underwear._

Finally hir groggy mind put together what had probably happened. Images of sweaty tangled limbs hit her just as an angry headache pounded through hir skull.

_Fuck._

"Fuck." se grabbed hir forehead and grimaced.

The other hand pressed against the wall se'd been sleeping against and se slid up slowly.

"Fuck," se said again.

"Master?"

Se cracked an eye open and noticed Jiroshin moving towards hir, still wearing the same clothing and sleepy, but obviously not hungover. Normally se'd have scolded him for missing a great chance to have some fun, but today se was grateful he was sober.

"C'mere," se waved a free hand at him urgently and wrapped it around his neck, "Where's the damned kitchen?"

Slowly they moved forward, se kept hir arm around him for support and he put a hesitant hand on hir waist to steady hir.

Jiroshin hoped se wouldn't notice the blush that crept over his face when his master leaned hir weight into him. Hir attention, however, was focused with animal single-mindedness on the thought of something to get rid of hir pounding bulldog headache.

He sighed, maybe he should've let loose a little like his master was always telling him, then he could have told hir...and then they...

"Hon? You're makin' a weird face."

He snapped out of his reverie and mumbled a long apology. Then he turned his energies towards getting his master some relief, trying to ignore the swell of hir breast against his side or the skimpy clothing that covered hir less then usual.

Already the kitchen was bustling with servants. Steam and shots of smoke flavored the air with delicious smells. Kanzeon's nose told hir that it must be around lunchtime. Hir stomach growled, but se could deal with that later.

A skinny looking errand boy of some description rushed pass, close enough that Kanzeon could swat the side of his head with hir free hand.

"Whatthehellwasthatfor?" he spun around and immediately turned beet red.

"M-Master Bosatsu! I didn't expect to see your radiant presence in our humble kitchen," he sputtered on uselessly.

"Cut the shit, kid." He stopped. "I need something to get rid of this hangover, _now_."

With more bows and apologies and spit he dashed off. Kanzeon was feeling better all ready as Jiroshin sat hir down at a large table. The surface was thick and lacquered but was still covered in dents and slices. Se supposed it was going to be used very soon to make one of hir co-worker's meals, but one of the perks of being the Heavenly Goddess of Love and Mercy was nobody dared bug you about where you sat. Se was actually feeling a little perkier, taking in all the smells and bustle of the kitchen, until the uncomfortable pulling at hir crotch brought even less pleasant thoughts.

Se could remember the soldier, but everything they had done had been a blank.

_Shit, what if I get pregnant?_

_What if I got herpes or something?_

_Can gods even **get** STDs?_

_Wait, when was my last period?_

_Fuck, my head hurts._

Even though se could only remember the soldier, the underwear told hir there'd been a girl too.

_Oh shit, what if I got someone else pregnant?_

_Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, having a little me running around...wait._

_Yes it would._

"I hate being so fuckable," se muttered into the table.

"M-m-m-master!"

At that moment, the boy came rushing back, sparing Jiroshin some embarrassment. It was hard to tell who was redder: Jiroshin or the kitchen boy.

"Great Honorable Kanzeon Bosatsu, beautiful lotus among these filthy thorns..."

"Kid?"

"Yes, Oh Wonderful..."

"I thought I mentioned something earlier about cutting the shit?"

"Ah, yes, that's right...uh...Master...uh..."

"Look I don't care if you care if you call me perverted old hag. Just give me something to fix my headache," Kanzeon tried to be patient with the boy but se really hated these ass-kissing type of weakling.

"Ah, well, yes..." the boy made a weird scrunching motion with his nose, "uh...Master Bosatsu. You see, that's the problem..."

Kanzeon's head shot up and immediately se regretted it.

"We, uh, don't seem to have anything that would help."

Hir body went rigid, se just stared at the boy as if he was had just told hir se was about to die. An uncomfortable bubble of silence surrounded the three.

"You're kidding me."

The boy shook his head.

"We live in Heaven, the dwelling place of Gods and immortals filled with magic and power beyond any human's imagination, _and you don't have anything to cure a hangover?_"

Kanzeon hissed out the last words and the boy thought that the great Goddess of Love and Mercy was about to rip his head from his body.

The long uncomfortable silence in their little bubble stretched and swelled. Jiroshin couldn't tell how long had passed, but finally his master stood on shaky legs and motioned him over. They made their way out of the kitchen, to the immense relief of the boy, and picked across the furniture, garbage and bodies strewn over the room.

Apparently they were some of the first ones awake; there were a lot of gods still sleeping around the immense house.

Outside, the day was disgustingly sunny and bright, as it often was in Heaven, and Kanzeon shut hir eyes against the offensive light. Se trusted that Jiroshin could get them home on his own. The itching and pressing against hir crotch were really starting to bug hir. Se was usually in such a good mood too, but this hangover made hir irritable. Finally se stopped Jiroshin, and before he could ask what was wrong, yanked the offending underwear off and flung it into the garden. No doubt some servant would find it later and return it to its owner.

_Hell, maybe then I'll find out if I'm a Daddy_.

Jiroshin spent the rest of the walk back shooting withering glares at anyone who stopped to stare at his now completely exposed and very disheveled master.

* * *

Well, that's the first chapter. I've already got the second one started. w00t. 

next up!  
Around the Campfire. In which the Sanzou-ikkou defeat Gonorrhea and Kanzeon decides to take a vacation.

I'd like to get at least 3 reviews before I post up the next chapter. So I think you know what to do.

cough purplebutton cough


	2. Around the Campfire

**Title:** Let your Hair Down  
**Description: **After waking up from a drunken celebration in Heaven, Kanzeon decides to stir things up a bit. Meanwhile, Gojyo feels bored andgoes looking for something new. SanzoxGoku, some JiroshinxKanzeon and some weirder pairings later on.  
**Rated: M. **For language, mostly Gojyo's, indecent exposure on the part of Kanzeon, and mature subject matter.  
**A/N: **Okay, so I caved and posted the next chapter with only two reviews. But! as revenge I split the chapter, so this one is shorter.

Well, it wasn't really revenge. I'm having a lot more trouble writing about the Saiyuki boys then I thought I would. At first it started with Sanzo, but then I swtiched to Gojyo and started his thread of the plot. Sanzo and Goku's sidestory will probably be around ch.4, I'm still figuring it out.

Kanzeon and Jiroshin in Heaven are just excessively fun to write.

* * *

**Let your hair down**

Ch. 2 Around the Campfire

"Ha ha ha ha ha! You may have defeated Lady Gyokumen's other assassins but against I, the Great Garuga, you mere children have no chance."

Right now, Gojyo didn't give a flying fuck whether he was the Great Gonorrhea up Gyokumen's butt hole, he just wanted to go to sleep. The looks on Hakkai and Sanzo's faces told him they were thinking the same thing. Goku was no doubt thinking about whether Great Gonorrhea's pet dung beetles were edible, but he was after all, just a dumb monkey and hadn't drank much the night before.

"They are not dung beetles! They are scarabs! Kings among insects who feed upon the flesh of pitiful humans like you!"

Oh, and he guessed that meant Gonorrhea was psychic too.

He decided to test it out:

_I bet he wacks off about those dung beetles every night._

"I do not masturbate over my scarabs! And my name is not Gonorrhea!"

Yup, that proved it. Now the other three were giving their would-be killer weird looks. He thought he saw Sanzo suppress a smirk, but maybe it was just a mirage.

Wait...they weren't in the desert right now...what did you call that then...a trick of the light? No... Shit, he just couldn't think of the word.

"A hallucination! It's called a hallucination dammit! God, are you so stupid you can't even pay attention when you're in mortal peril?"

The guy was raving now; obviously he'd been paying way too much attention to Gojyo's train of thought. He didn't notice that Sanzo had been muttering incantations under his breath for the past twenty seconds. Gojyo smirked, and Gonorrhea got the joke when Sanzo bellowed "MAKAI TENJYO!" in that husky voice of his. Gojyo almost felt sorry for the guy, standing there like a deer in headlights as a load of whoop-ass Holy Magic went flying towards him and his damned bugs.

Then he remembered his splitting headache and he didn't waste much time crying over the guy. His mind marked the demon down as the lamest assassin since the exploding guy at that temple way back when and moved on to thoughts of a nice, soft bed.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean we're camping out?" Gojyo glared impotently at the monk. 

"I mean we're camping out, shithead, whether you like it or not," Gojyo opened his mouth to make further protest but was cut off, "Stop bitching and help Hakkai pitch the tents. I'll be back later."

Gojyo's blood was boiling, "Why do I have to pitch your goddamned tent?"

He moved to follow Sanzo into the forest, but a gentle hand on his shoulder held him back. Hakkai shook his head slowly and stuck one of the tent poles in his friend's hand. They'd all drunk a lot, well, with exception of Goku who'd passed out after his third glass of beer. Hakkai held his alcohol better then the other two, but he's still put always twice as much, and he'd been driving for eight hours. Hakkai didn't point out any of this of course, but Gojyo got the message anyway and helped with both tents without any more growling.

* * *

He was bored. Bored, bored, and bored. The monkey's snoring and crickets outside were fighting for the Battle of the Most Irritating Nighttime Noise and he couldn't tell who was winning. Gojyo lay there with his arms behind his head, not sleeping but not really thinking. He tried to dissect his mood. He wasn't _bored_ really, he was just feeling adventurous and was stuck out in the middle of nowhere with three sleeping guys. He debated about going to wake up Hakkai, but he was sharing a tent with the monk. Even if he did like picking fights with the droopy-eyed bombshell, he wasn't stupid enough to sneak into his tent at night when Sanzo had a short temper and a bad headache. 

Besides, bugging Hakkai wasn't exactly adventurous. He convinced himself that things might be different if they were in a town with real beds to sleep on, but...he wasn't exactly in the mood for cruising for chicks.

Gojyo smacked himself on the head. What the hell did he mean he wasn't in the mood to pick up chicks? Did he _actually_ just think that? Gojyo shifted uneasily in his sleeping bag, not liking this new train of thought but entirely unable to stop it.

To make himself feel better he threw his pillow over Goku's head to muffle to his snoring, knowing the monkey would probably have thrashed it off before it could suffocate him. Finally he turned into his pillow and closed his eyes. Maybe things wouldn't be so weird in the morning.

* * *

Now! For replies to reviews! I promise you if you review I will ALWAYS reply in the next chapter. That's why you should...(cough)purplebutton(cough) 

**iceblitz: **I love your fanfiction, so I'm really happy so got around to reading mine. Please keep up with the story. If you have any suggestions or request just let me know

**space-cadet6:** I'm glad you liked it. Go quiet down your brother, he's interfering with my review receivingness. (shakes fist) haha.

next up!  
Ch. 3 the Bored Meeting  
In which Kanzeon freaks out and Jiroshin gets wet.

Um...this time, let's try for...5 reviews? 4? Really, I've got chapter 3 just waiting to be posted here.


	3. The Bored Meeting

**Title:** Let your Hair Down  
**Description: **After waking up from a drunken celebration in Heaven, Kanzeon decides to stir things up a bit. Meanwhile, Gojyo feels bored and goes looking for something new. SanzoxGoku, some JiroshinxKanzeon and some weirder pairings later on.  
**Rated: M. **For language, mostly Gojyo's, indecent exposure on the part of Kanzeon, and mature subject matter.  
**A/N: **Yay! Four reviews. Okay, I made a few mistakes in the first chapter that I wanted to point out, and tried to fix in this one.

1) Jiroshin was kind of OOC. He's usually pushier with Kanzeon, and I made him a little too servile. Which I guess I could say is because he was just really embarrased because Kanzeon is a shekshy nekkid hermaphrodite. But I still think I did it wrong.

2) I called Kanzeon the "Goddess of Love and Mercy." Which is dumb, because se's not a Goddess, se's a Bodhisattva. So this time around that's what I called hir.

So, Sanzo and Goku get their story arc in Chapter 4, now that I have it figured out. They're going to be kind of angsty, although the rest of the fic is pretty light hearted, so I'll try to tone it down. Hakkai still has no role to speak of. Warui, Hakkai.

* * *

**Let your hair down**

Ch 3. The Bored Meeting

Kanzeon yawned. The highest ranking gods and Bodhisattvas had been gathered together for a meeting of some kind. A fat, black folder was sitting in front of hir, outlining all of the contents of discussions that were to take place. Of course, se hadn't even touched it.

The number of empty chairs outnumbered the heavenly officers almost two to one. A heavy tension hung in the air of the clean monochrome room and the unperturbed Bodhisattva leaned back a little further and closed hir eyes. One thing about Heaven: you could always count on comfy furniture.

God himself had not graced the gathering with his presence, but his assistant rattled on, even though most of the company was asleep or nearly there. Obviously, half of the gods invited had chosen to stay home to nurse their hangovers, but Jiroshin had panicked as soon as they'd gotten back to the house and he realized that his master had somewhere to be. A set of clean clothing, a lot of pleading and six Aspirins later, Kanzeon was sleeping through the important meeting. Se made a mental note to smack Jiroshin later, even if he was only doing his job.

"Kanzeon Bosatsu, Great Bodhisattva of Love and Mercy," hir head shot up when the man in front addressed hir by name.

A few bleary eyes shifted in hir direction, but otherwise nobody paid attention.

Se looked up at the god with what se hoped was serious interest, "Yeah?"

"What is your honored opinion on..." Kanzeon never heard the rest of the sentence.

There were two sentries flanking God's assistant. Nothing unusual about that, it was protocol to have guards posted around meetings like this; not that there was much danger. In fact, it was usually just low class soldiers who rotated the sentry posts. Greenhorns from each of the Western, Eastern, Northern and Southern armies were obliged to spend a few weeks doing this kind of job. They might as well have been part of the decor, and Kanzeon hadn't paid any attention to them on hir way in. None of the other gods understood why the Bodhisattva was staring with such intensity at this particular sentry.

Undaunted by the attention suddenly focused upon him, the young soldier gave Kanzeon a wink and flashed hir a grin. Recognition slowly crept over hir features and se shot up, knocking hir chair over in the process.

"Fuck."

Either the loud crash of the chair or the obscenity that followed had shocked most of the party awake. The young soldier frowned slightly, a simple confused gesture that reminded hir of the child-heretic's face, so long ago...and it hit hir.

Without warning, Kanzeon bolted out of the room, still too dignified to run, but marching hurriedly towards hir own home. Several of hir servants, who'd been stationed outside to escort hir home, rushed after their master in a confused heap.

* * *

Jiroshin had been enjoying a peaceful moment, proud of himself for getting his master out on time with less fuss then usual. He sat in the garden, sweet scents and pleasant songs fillings his ears and nose as he sipped a glass of hot tea until a loud bang made him knock his tea over. He sputtered for a moment as the wet hot liquid stung his cheeks and glued his long beard to his face before he saw his master stomp by with a train of desperate looking servants. 

"What in the...?"

He sprang up in time to catch one of the servants by the arm and demand an explanation.

"I...Master Bosatsu...just..." the girl managed before bursting into tears.

Unsure what to do with this new development, he patted the girl on the shoulder and mumbled a quick "It's okay" before rushing after the crowd.

When he finally located the source of the commotion, se was locked behind the bathroom door. The other servants and Jiroshin looked nervously from one to the other. Their master wasn't cruel by any stretch of the imagination, but se did have odd tendencies and kept them on their toes simply by being so unpredictable.

At length Jiroshin decided to knock on the door.

"Master Bosatsu?"

"I'll be out in a while."

The deep voice that came out muffled through the bathroom door was hoarse, and Jiroshin knew meant that Kanzeon was stressed, something that rarely ever happened.

The servants stood around uneasily for a few moments: some of them trickled away to return to their chores, but most of them waited around the bathroom door stupidly. After all, they loved their master and worried about hir.

* * *

What seemed like an eternity later, Kanzeon burst out of the bathroom. Se nearly radiated happiness. 

"It's white!" se declared cryptically and launched hirself at Jiroshin, wrapping hir arms around his neck. He was thinking of what to say when se planted a big wet kiss right on his mouth. The moment couldn't possibly be too long for Jiroshin, but the next instant his master had the next person, this time the girl who'd been crying earlier, wrapped in a tight hug.

"Uh, am I interrupting something...?"

Jiroshin spun around to meet the small voice. Kanzeon, without noticing, continued to grab at each of hir gaggle of servants while they hammered hir with questions. He immediately recognized the young soldier from the night before who he'd seen with his master. Jiroshin felt an unpleasant swell of jealousy.

"Y...you!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself, in a louder voice then he should have.

The other servants and Kanzeon stopped the activity and turned towards the source of the noise.

"You know, this is that second time today this's happened to me," the soldier gave a weak smile under the gaze of the dozens of eyes now focused on him.

"What are you doing here?" Kanzeon's voice was cold.

"Well, you kind of freaked out back there when you saw me, so I thought I should come see if you're okay."

"Oh," hir shoulders relaxed. Se gave a quick look around hir, suddenly exhausted by the young soldier's presence. Se really didn't want to deal with him right now, or with any of them for that matter.

The soldier opened his mouth to speak again, but se waved a dismissive hand and turned on hir heels. Se felt the Aspirin that Jiroshin had stuffed down hir throat starting to wear off, and all se really wanted to do was get away from everyone for a while.

"K-Kanzeon-sama?" Jiroshin was jogging behind hir. The others had wisely chosen to stay behind, but he felt that he should at least find out what his master was up to before se charged off.

Kanzeon reached hir bed chamber and started digging around. Se pulled out a plain looking shirt and pants and began to change.

"What, uh, what was 'white'?"

"My pregnancy test."

Jiroshin felt the knot of worry in his stomach lighten a little. Maybe se wasn't planning anything rash after all. Still, he asked one more question to assure himself.

"Where are you going?"

Kanzeon spun around, a blank but annoyed look on hir face that was so like hir nephew's.

"I need a vacation."

* * *

Okay! Now, certainly my favorite part of this whole business. Replying to my lovely reviewers. 

**iceblitz:** I'm glad you liked it. I was laughing while I was writing it!I thought about dragging out the youkai scene a bit, maybe adding in what he looks like, but I thought that would've been a bit boring to read. Yay. You reviewed both chapters, I'm so happy.

**Koryu-Sanzo:** Ahh...you left me such a nice long review. Thank you TT

OMFG Jiroshin totally has the hots for Kanzeon. He thinks se's damned sexy.

Hmm, well I supposethe youkai guydid catch on, but Gojyo only really noticed right at the end there, so he didn't have time to run away. (cough). That's right, I can explain away any loopholes.

Oh God, don't send chickens at me. I'm terrifed of those little bastards. (Hurries off to write chapter 4)

next up!  
ch. 4 (which had a title but I forgot it)  
In which Goku gets jealous and Gojyo doesn't get ANY.

Please RandR.


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